


If only guilty roads to an endless love

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Category: The Social Network
Genre: Angst, Community: tsn_kinkmeme, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-18
Updated: 2011-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-15 18:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/163568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/1522.html?thread=3070194#t3070194">this prompt</a> at <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/"><b>tsn_kinkmeme</b></a>: "i know you’re lonely. i think you need somebody to want you." Fix it fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If only guilty roads to an endless love

**Author's Note:**

> Because [](http://quickpixie.livejournal.com/profile)[**quickpixie**](http://quickpixie.livejournal.com/) ’s [awesome fill](http://community.livejournal.com/tsn_kinkmeme/1522.html?thread=3084530#t3084530) broke me. Hers was Mark-centric. I decided to flip it and try doing it Eduardo-centric. Title from ‘Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely’ by Backstreet Boys.

> _Life goes on as it never ends  
>  Eyes of stone observe the trends  
> They never say forever gaze_
> 
>  _If only guilty roads to an endless love  
>  (Endless love)  
> There's no control, are you with me now?_ \- [‘Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely’](http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/backstreet-boys-lyrics/show-me-the-meaning-of-being-lonely-lyrics.html) by Backstreet Boys

  


Eduardo doesn't know why he opens the email knowing it's from Mark. Maybe it's because he's never been able to say 'no' to him. Not years after he's sued him. Not even after they made a goddamn movie which made it crystal clear that he is a doormat for Mark. And not now.
    
    
    i know you’re lonely. i think you need somebody to want you.

Eduardo laughs bitterly and sends off a quick response.
    
    
    You would know about that asshole. Fuck you. Don't project your issues on me.

He means it to hurt. It's petty and he doesn't care. He's had years of hurt to draw on. Every word from Mark draws up their painful history like blood welling from a wound. Eduardo goes to get a drink. He needs to get wasted. He doesn't really need a lot of excuses these days but he can't deal with this shit from Mark.

He gets another message. He deletes it without reading it. There, see? he thinks rather victoriously.

When he's nice and buzzed he gets a message to his cell from a number that he doesn't recognize.
    
    
    u r angry with me. I get it. I deserve that.

Eduardo cannot stop himself from responding. "Points for your deductive skills," he types.

His phone buzzes with another message. Eduardo should delete it. He should destroy his phone. He should- he reads it.
    
    
    i'm sorry. i know it's late but i'm sorry. 

Too damn right, Eduardo thinks.
    
    
    Wardo, I want you. Please. I want you back.

This is Mark begging him. He has never let himself fantasize about this. Eduardo feels entirely too sober as he types. “There's nothing left to have." It's insanely honest. He's just given Mark a sword to stab him with. He is so stupid. And Mark is right. He's lonely and he's wanted. Only by the person he’s always wanted and he doesn't know how to deal with it.

His phone is buzzing and ringing in his hand. Eduardo looks at it blankly. The unidentified number is flashing on the screen. Eduardo presses green.

"Mark, you fucking ass. I can’t believe you called me you asshole," he says, suddenly angry all over.

"Wardo," Mark says in measured tones. "Are you drunk?"

"So what if I am?" Eduardo snaps. "You...you don't get to call me that anymore. You don't get to call me. You don't deserve anything from me."

"You're right," Mark agrees easily. "Then why did you pick up?"

"Because it's you, you dickface!" Eduardo yells. "It's always you!" Eduardo is horrified to hear his voice crack on the last word. In a lower voice, he curses Mark. "Damn you."

"I want you back," Mark says quietly, like it's that easy.

Eduardo is trembling is the force of all the emotions slamming into him. He grits his teeth to keep his composure. "I told you. There is nothing left to have." He lets out a short scoff. "I gave it all to you, three years ago." Then because there’s nothing to say. “I’m so drunk right now.”

"I'm sorry.”

Mark isn’t being specific but he doesn’t need to be. It’s the words Eduardo has been waiting to hear for so long.

“For what it's worth, I want you anyway." Then a long pause. “Wardo?”

Eduardo can feel the sob coming up so he disconnects the call before Mark can hear him fall apart.

A moment later his phone lights up. Eduardo opens the text with trembling hands, still trying to swallow the huge lump in his throat.
    
    
    I’m here for you.

Eduardo is a coward. He forces himself to write, “I’m not the person you think you want.”

The text reply is almost instant.
    
    
    Be brave and want me back.

Eduardo closes his eyes, his lashes wet and takes a deep breath. He doesn’t have the strength to push Mark away. “I’ll try.”

When Mark calls again, Eduardo answers even if he doesn’t feel ready to say anything more. The silence doesn’t hurt. He listens to Mark breathe. The tightness in his chest begins to unravel ever so slightly.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, as a stickler for accuracy where possible, I know there are a few variations on the arrangement of the lyrics (like whether the "if only" part was part of the line above or below). I picked this one as it fit better but I totally watched the video as well. Nostalgic rush!


End file.
